Nothing matters but your obituary.
I took a cute selfie for Instagram but I’m not posting it till people are up to like it
Oh honey, that’s just how old houses are. They settle. They sometimes creak or groan, or quietly weep, or demand blood sacrifice in voices that sounds like the fluttering wings of a thousand moths. It’s just the house settling. For whatever it can get. Go back to sleep.
"Is there a problem with my burger?"
Tip yo waitress
Lafayette always has room on my dash.